Alright, so it finally happened! I’ve been given a calling at my YSA Branch. I’ve been asked to be a Sunday School teacher and I have a strong feeling I’ll be spending most of my time in the Gospel Principles class.
We can enter total freak out mode!
I have NO idea what I’m doing, so I’m just going to throw that out there right now! I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for almost 7 years ( little over a month til my baptism anniversary!! ) and about 6 1/2 years of that has been spent in Primary. That’s children. Ages 3-12. I’ve been the Pianist, a Teacher, and the Music Leader, thankfully not all at the same time. I’m also not the most social person when it comes to new people that are around my age. Seriously, I’ve literally freaked people out when they actually see me in my “natural habitat.” (i.e. with my best friends or my family)
Anyway, story for another time.
It’s been really pressed upon me during the week to read Exodus 3 and 4. You know, the part where Moses talks to God and it’s basically a “how in the world could you ask me to be the deliverer?” kind of conversation. Because quite frankly, I can have a bit of an understanding of how Moses feels. Let me break it down a bit.
Exodus 3:11 – “And Moses said unto God, Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?”
Exodus 4:1 – “And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The Lord hath not appeared unto thee.“
Exodus 4:10 – “And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slowtongue.“
Like, those statements are very much some of what I have been feeling. I mean, I know the lessons I’ll teach aren’t about me, but I fear that my own personal insecurities and self-doubt will be a hindrance to the Spirit’s teachings. I mean, literally, Who am I? I am not fluent in the scriptures and no references like so many can. Days where I’m in classes like that are the worst for me, by the way. There are so many other people who are, in my opinion, far better suited to be in a class like this, but at the YSA Branch, there is no Primary. But, callings are not about where you should be. Heavenly Father I know has a plan for me and I’m supposed to teach for a reason. Maybe I’ll figure it out before long.
Don’t get me wrong, part of me is SUPER excited to be teaching, and to be learning and to become more knowledgeable in my scriptures, and I do think that this is the perfect way for me to do just that. I mean, if I’m in Gospel Principles, that means I’m in a class filled with investigators and new converts, which can be some of the most amazing people in the Church. Period.
But I am very nervous. I’m eloquent when I have the words in front of me, but to think at the drop of the hat…to dive deep into scriptures and find some hidden meaning…it’s just not how my head works. I’m a surface learner, and maybe that can be seen as more of a weakness than a strength. But, I think, for now, I’m going to see it as a strength. It’s served me well in Primary, and I guess it’s just not time for me to do anything about it.
Heavenly Father’s plans for us are truly something wonderful and we learn one step at a time. Everything is built on top of what we already know. I’ll start teaching on September 11 so let’s see how this all goes!