Good morning! Or afternoon…or evening! Wherever and whenever you’re reading this. So, I’ve been almost a whole week post-show and I’m slowly returning to reality. It doesn’t help much when my co-workers are now quoting lines from the show and I respond with more lines…or that the kids call me “Ms Belle” or “Ms Beauty” and they color pictures of red roses and give them to me.
Yesterday was my first Saturday without a three-hour rehearsal and I had to do something to stay occupied. I was going to go to Faire with my roomie, but she bailed on me, so I’m going next week with my Seester. Instead, I went shopping with one of my friends Cookie. We went to the mall where I spent lots of money and we saw the movie Love and Friendship. You have to understand that Cookie and I are Austenites and will usually watch the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice at least once a month. And it has nothing to do with Colin Firth and that delicious scene of him meeting Elizabeth while he’s “a little less formerly attired.” The theatre was filled with 28 people (Cookie counted) and it was so much fun being in a room with people who read/love Jane Austen as much as we do. I have to say I couldn’t have pictured a better way to begin my post-show Saturdays.
Now, today is another day of where one curtain falls and another one rises. It’s my last day in my Ward where I’ve been since I moved back to Richmond in October of 2014. It’s a family Ward and I’ve been in the Primary room since last January. When I was first called to Primary, I was happy to stay in there for the rest of my life and just be with children. Not to worry about a husband or anything like that. Then earlier this year, it came to me that this would be my last year in Primary as I was slowly coming to terms with the idea of getting married again. I’d planned to start in January of 2017 in the Singles Ward up in Lexington but a couple of weeks ago…it all changed.
I was sitting in the living room, recovering from a horrid 24-hour stomach bug and watching When Calls the Heart. I was watching Elizabeth and Jack and their love story unfold when I realized that it didn’t hurt anymore. In the beginning, when my ex-husband and I first separated, it was so hard. I hated going to church because I feared that everyone was judging me. I mean, in the LDS church, marriage is not just for life…it is for eternity. We are married in one of the Lord’s holy temples and it is for forever. Something so special and so sacred had been torn apart, and even though it wasn’t entirely my fault, it was over.
After I slowly made my way past those feelings and I realized that there were those who were helping me along the way, I knew I had to take time for myself. And that meant, no dating. Despite interest from some guys, I kept my resolution. Now was not the time, as they would have been rebounds and that wasn’t fair to either party. And honestly, I was busy having too much fun being on my own again. I was learning to manage my own finances, I was making a career change, trying to find a place to live, and I was embracing a life that I never thought I could have.
I see now that that time was important for me. I had to rediscover myself. I had to see a life I could lead when I did the things that I loved. My personal and professional life is a wonderful thing and it is full of so much joy. I didn’t want it dampened by the pain of opening myself up to a relationship. Not until I was almost completely solidly grounded in myself.
I’ve avoided romances like the plague because they originally made me angry and then very depressed. Until I watched When Calls the Heart on a pure whim. There was no pain and no anger. There were tears, but they were happy ones. It didn’t hurt anymore. And that was when I knew, that it was time to attend the Singles Ward and to finally meet people my own age and maybe, just maybe, someone who I can go through the rest of my life with. Now, marriage is the ideal object of everyone at Singles Ward and I think they’re going to be a bit surprised, because I rushed into my first marriage and I will not make that mistake again.
So, it’s my last day in Primary which means no more little children. I’m not going to say when it’s going to be like for me to function like an adult during Church hours again. I work 40 hours a week with children and then spend part of my weekend with children. So, to say that it’s difficult to carry on conversations with people my own age is an understatement. People much older than me and much younger than me? No problem? People from my own generation? Psh, I’d rather sit through Wagner’s Ring Cycle.
So, here’s to last day in a Family Ward because next week it a new adventure awaits!! Promise I’ll keep you updated.